Being a Dad

Ashley has been adamant that I post something, so here it is. I was in Crackerbarrel the other day (actually, lots of other days because my parents love that place) and I ran across a sign that said, "Anyone can become a father, but not anyone can be a Dad like you". Really, cheesy, I know. But what does that even mean? Furthermore, why anyone would want to buy something that says that? Then, as I looked around at the rest of the paraphenalia that the 'barrel has to offer, I decided it was at least as valuable as its fellow items.
Still, what does the sign mean? I suppose it's intended meaning is that the "you," whoever is being referred to in the second person, puts much more into the role of parenting than someone who merely sires offspring. In my experience, the word Father is formal and the word Dad is more of a loving moniker. More specifically, Father you use as a point of reference when introducing your paternal elder to a stranger, and Dad is what you use when you need to borrow money. And if you really need money, the ever popular Daddy. The point is, a Dad is someone you are close to, someone you can rely on, and someone who brings you comfort. I am looking forward to being a Father- seeing something that sort of looks like me- but I'm absolutely thrilled about being a Dad and building a relationship with my child! I wake up every morning and kiss my wife, and then kiss my child. Then, if Ashley is awake, I talk to both of them. I tell my child who I am, and that I'm ready to meet it. On my way to work, I contemplate what my child will be like. Will he/she be quiet and kind like its mother or hillarious and outspoken like it's DAD! I hope for at least one of each.
I have often felt like my life will be defined by my family life- as I believe any man with good priorities will feel- and I vow to make every effort to be a good Dad. No, a GREAT DAD. I will encourage my kid, talk to my kid, and love my kid for as long as they still think I'm cool, or at least socially acceptable to have around. Then, I'll still love and encourage them and be around them even when I'm not cool, and clueless about what is cool. My parents did it to me, and their parents did it to them, it's just how good parenting is.
Ashley has a book about what to expect every week of the pregnency, and to get a head start on being a good dad, I too glanced at the book. Plus, let's be honest here, I need a heads up about what Ashley is about to deal with too. The book has several highlighted sections they call "Tips for Dads". My eyes darted toward it thinking I was about to tap into something instinctually paternal, but to my dismay, the advice I found wasn't paternal or instinctual. It said nothing that has to do with fatherhood, rather every piece of advice had to do with keeping the mother happy. Things like "vacuum the floor without being asked" and "make your wife's favorite meal for her". First of all, having these ideas in books where women are the target audience seems counterintuitive, especially because it gives women an ideal of what a good husband should do, and then joe shmoe gets screwed for not vacuuming the floor without being asked because he never read the book that wasn't even for his eyest to see! In that regard, anyway, it's a good thing I glanced at the book! Furthermore, I find these so called "tips" to be beating around the bush. Basically all of the tips for Dads have to do with easing the situation around your wife. Why doesn't the book just say, "look guys, your wife is going to be hormonal, she is going to get bigger, and feel nautious, lose sleep, her body is going to ache, and she'll feel uncertain about the thing that is growing inside of her that will someday force it's way out of her, so just try your hardest not to tick her off because her rollercoaster of emotion could be dangerous to ride otherwise." That is a book I'd like to read. "What to expect when your wife is expecting"
But I digress. I want to be a Father, I'm dying to be a Dad. I don't need no plaque to tell me,not do I need a "world's greatest dad" mug, because I know I'm going to be the world's greatest dad to my kids. Being a dad isn't a competition, or something you can measure. There is a difference between fatherhood and Dadhood, and it's intent. You can be a father without intending to be one, but if you plan on being a Dad you'd better come prepared with lots of time, lots of energy, and lots of love. You can bet that I'll be ready when the time comes!
As for the next 8.5 months, I am loving the journey, and if you talk to Ashley anytime soon put in a good word for me, it can't hurt!

I love you and miss you all!

-Daniel