Ramblings from an unemployed mother.

I realize this blog is mainly devoted to our sweet and adorable boys- and we aim to keep it that way. I think this post is more just to offer a behind the scenes look at our Berkeley life, especially the parental part. We've learned that this blog serves as an amazing reference to our past and with all that's up in the air...I know I'd like to have a glimpse of the thought processes that go into the numerous decisions to be made in the next several months!

First, let me point out that we love Berkeley and especially our amazing community, ridiculous amount of parks, and enviable fresh produce. The bad news is that Berkeley is part of the Bay area, which is notorious for being 'impossible' to land a career-related job. With kids, it would have to pay enough to include child-care/school costs and transportation plus some to be worth it in the balance of our lives.

Needless to say, right now, I'm unemployed. I daily wonder whether I'm 'unemployed' or is it more appropriate to say I'm a 'stay at home mom'? Don't judge me and I won't judge you, but giving myself that title makes me cringe....I want to work as I actually love my area of expertise and I want my boys to see me as more than mom. *Please don't make me include a PC disclaimer as, if you're reading this, you can figure-out how much I truly adore and respect being a mom.*

In hopes of feeling productive/ academic/ sane, I've worked frequently on our community garden (which we are leading) and the crops are thriving- the leafy greens are already harvest-ready! Jacob is very patient with the crops though weeding was a very sad concept for him as he felt it wrong to decide which plant lives and which dies. My tender yet aggressive/testosterone-filled little 3 1/2 year old.

I've also become a breastmilk donor for the CA Milk bank which provides the best nourishment for preemies and other sickly people in need. And let's be honest, I was truly blessed with the gift of making really powerful milk that chunks-up some babies; may as well share.

Seeing as I also aim to become a Lactation consultant down the road (actually on my 5-year professional development plan for being an RD), it doesn't hurt to know more names of those involved in the field!

While those are my "things", Daniel went and got elected as Student Body President for the seminary! He's holding himself together beautifully, per usual, and continues to amaze regarding what can get accomplished on any given day. Daniel truly is the yin to my yang; excellent with words both oral and written, quickly rational and efficient, doesn't quickly tire of strangers or big groups, organized and without procrastination.... All this is to say that being an involved dad of two, a full-time (excellent) student, plus student body president and he doesn't wear-out. He then goes on to write full plays, read for fun, and devotedly watch Cardinals football.

That's where we are right now. And I have to remind myself of those awesome things while taking deep breaths before those other things cloud over. You know, the "what about Thomas and his breathing? How long do you fight insurance companies before they win? Should we keep sending Jacob to this school that we can't afford even if he isn't loving it or should we pull him after Christmas?If we do pull him, then will he be missing-out socially and academically? Where will we be moving after Daniel finishes school? Should I seek employment elsewhere (with the boys) next semester and leave Daniel by his lonesome so that we can jump-start the moving on from the schooling phase of life and toward professional and financial wellness." That stuff.

It's too much.

And that's why we breathe, shut our minds down, listen....and play in the rain.